Thursday, December 29, 2005
in the ruins
the sky is weirdly pretty now. i'm sitting at the computer table looking out the window and the buildings are highlighted this orangey-yellow color but oddly enough, the sky is dark. food for thought.
back to reality.
twisted taste:mars bar
Mood music: stickwitu-the pussycat dolls
*shy that way
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
and we've said so little
christmas.
very very happy christmas and a merry new year!=)
nothing like getting into the christmas mood by BAKING! tons tons tons of christmas cookies and jam thumbprint cookies. and filling the house with smells both sweet and salty and mostly, just plain innocently happy. like, if you can't have the snow and all the little stereotypical things that make christmas-a proper christmas, you create that magic yourself.
step 1: GET YOURSELF an ELF (my little sister works for me.heeehee=P)
step 2: bake! and spill flour on yourself and butter your elf by accident.
step 3: laughlauughlaugh and sing stupid songs that you've forgotten the lyrics to.
step 4: walk along orchard road and sing christmas carols even if all your friends are staring at you (thanks ALOT for that vote of confidence guys.=X)
step 5: have strawberry milkshakes and cotton candy for dinner!
hehh. and that's what's a good christmas is alllll about! and calling your twin every 5 seconds when you have a crisis.hahahha. yeah.=)
twisted taste:water!
Mood music: long juan feng-jay zhou
*shy that way
Friday, December 23, 2005
steal your pain
i wanted you to know,
i love the way you laugh.dajie's back. christmas is coming. stuff like that. I guess i don't ever blog much about things that aren't obviously happening. it's the usual, 'what's-happening-now' kinda thing. i don't understand how people can so easily blog about their deepest feelings or anything close to being personal for that matter. or blatantly write things about others that could potentially hurt that person. it's just not right (well, the hurting people bit isn't right). anyway, i'm going to reshuffle my life.=)
twisted taste:nothing
Mood music:broken-seether ft amy lee
*shy that way
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
in the same lifetime
she's half asleep but barely dreaming.
they're under the same sky in the same life
she said 'go forward. you can't wait for this'
walking backwards never gets one very far.don't give me this feeling, i'll only believe it.twisted taste: nothing
Mood music: spitalfield
*shy that way
Monday, December 19, 2005
purple & blacck
sugary sweet persimmon
refreshingly enticing.
yummy.=)
feeling detached from people i was once in very close contact with. it's odd how things get a little drearier, mellower and just tiresome. you don't try to stay in touch anymore. or maybe you're just tired from making the effort. but you've always got the others around. the kinda who make making the effort worth it.
you're not making this easy though. looks like plan 'it ends after the exams' failed-
miserably.
we could do anything, we could pretend.twisted taste:persimmon
Mood music:i really miss you- S Club 7(hehe)
*shy that way
Sunday, December 18, 2005
black hole
do you wanna be together or is just me?
can we try a little more personal?
coz the more i know about you
it's easier to be a little more personal.back from bangkok. shopping and eating. hahah. SOUNDS GOOD HUH.=)
oh well, wmet up with JOSH and MICH today. ohoh and JON joined us later. it was super fun. comfortable and fun and...=) GOOODIEEE. i misssed themmm so much. the lunchbunch.the family. heee.
okay, it's just me.twisted taste:chocolate chip cookies
Mood music: black hole-lindsay lohan
*shy that way
Monday, December 12, 2005
stickwitu
it's been superdooper gloomy in singapore lately. okay, it's probably because of the monsoon season and all that stuff. well, thankgod i got my hair cut. =)
there's nothing much to blog about. same old stuff all over again. nice yummy lunches, awesome shopping and the bestest people. met up with jolyn yesterday for a goood ole SHOPPING TRIP! and what's new-everything was too small for me. if only i could just stop eating and lose like 10 kg. heh. ultimate. it was fun though...all the cds! I LOVE CD SHOPPING. i can't wait for my daddy to come home soooooon! MORE CDS.
i even got a papercut trying to figure out what to do with all these memories.
what happened to the good times?
coz it's not how it used to feel
and i wonder what went wrong.twisted taste:peanuts!
Mood music:wait a minute-the pussycat dolls
*shy that way
Saturday, December 10, 2005
alone and free
it's okay to feel this way.
it's allrightttt... it really is.=)
self-affirmations. some say they work, others (those a little more tired) don't know if they do since they don't even bother trying. trying- it's got to be horrible when someone doesnt do that anymore. i mean, the only way to ever do anything is to try, isn't it? It's one of those old cliches where they tell you 'you never know til you try'. and if you think you have, but you failed anyway, you didn't try hard enough. optimists- they believe everything will work out, it's only a matter of trying. so if you have cancer and you try to cure yourself, but you've failed (which obviously means you're dead/dying), you didn't try hard enough huh? nono-i don't have cancer, it's just an analogy. you know, maybe optimists meant this 'trying' business as one where you try to do the best you can out of a situation. you know, let's pretend it's that cancer situation again. where you could have tried to live each day the best you could, with the people around you that loved you. and when you die, you leave with no regrets. that's succeeding right? you've tried to do the best you can when life dumped you in a shithole, and you've made it the best possible shithole you could. trying- maybe it isn't so bad after all. you just need to get yourself over the initial state of self pity and wallowing i reckon. in any situation. even in mine.
could you pretend that you're feeling a little more pain.
cry, just a little for me. and he'll say, "
no, you're not worth it."
twisted taste: apple custard bun and soy choc milk
Mood music: nothinggg
*shy that way
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
lift.
seems like forever that i've been falling.
sometimes that's how it is
but it was never meant to be the endyou know what i need, a new diary. a brand new one where the pages are clean for me to write something else. or maybe a new life. nahh it's okay i'll settle for the new diary. haha.
am i a secret that you keep?twisted taste:nothing
Mood music: lift-shannon noll
*shy that way
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
If you want me back,
you're gonna have to ask nicer than that.hahaha, guess what song is playing now? 'love makes the world go round' by the powerpuff girls. =) and it's doing a good job of making me smile again. it's been some time.
i love talking to my dear lemon menon! i MISS YOU GIRLIE. hehehe.i can't wait to see you tomorrow. =) home. home. home. i miss home!=) H.O.M.E.
and i miss you too.twisted taste: spag
Mood music: buried myself alive-the used
*shy that way
cross out these eyes
it'll never be good enoughnever is a long time,
you just keep waiting and hoping
but you know that it's all there is to it.
never is long time to wait
a very long time.
twisted taste:water and panadol
Mood music: kai bu liao kou-jay zhou
*shy that way
Monday, December 05, 2005
unwound
past your door
but you don't live there anymore
but i could almost here you shout down to mefinally, my missing bestfriend has returned to earth!=) oh well, meeting with her is always something to look forward to. no dramas there.
step off the train
i'm walking down your street again.lets talk about the word fair. FAIR means being justified or something along those lines i'm presuming. pfft, i've lost my train of thought regarding that word. but it's a word we all use really often. gah. okok, so is it fair to feel angry when you've kinda lost the reason to be mad? i mean, after being angry-where do we go from there? and what if the cause for the anger was absolutely not worth it because you can push it to the back of your mind and leave it there to dissipate into the environment? it's like, you KNOW it's not a worthy cause to be mad about because you claim you don't care so if you don't care then...it shouldn't matter! haha. i'm sure you're beginning to catch my drift. so if we all just care less, then the world would be a much more peaceful place-in my mind anyways.
i'm beginning to wonder if i really care aymore.twisted taste:nothing
Mood music: and i miss you-everything but the girl
*shy that way
Sunday, December 04, 2005
matchbook romance + insanity
so fall asleeep tonight coz that makes me closer to you
okay tim told me it started at 4 so we were going to go to the concert at 1 so we could like, wait for tickets and stuff coz the tickets could be purchased at the door. but i woke up this morning and decided to check where it was at. then i realized doors opened at 12.30-NOT 4! i screamed and called tim immediately and ended up rushing like a mad girl to meet him and go to the corner hotel at richmond. hahaha, we ended up early and stuff so yeah. it was all goood. we had pies before going in-I WAS STARVING. it was goooood. hehe. so the first band wasn't really big yet-trial kennedy. but seriously awesome. i liked them alot more than i like Behind Crimson Eyes but that band's bigger here. and when BCE started playing, the crowd got into some serious moshing. hahah-it was hilarious that is, if you could even breathe. all the sweaty bodies against you. i know-EEEEW.
then then then...MATCHBOOOKROMANCE! *drumroll please* THEY WERE SO AWESOME. they sang all the bestest songs ever. first was your stories, my alibis-i went seriously psycho. then, he played an acoustic version of tiger lily. I NEARLY DIED. it was SO AWESOME. hahha it reminded me of the walk back from the city to st kilda. so anyways, he played PROMISE as the last song and i was squealing like a retarded kid. i've lost half my voice. the other half is about to go too.
speaking of kids, since it was an U18 thing, there were a couple of little kids around and i was thinking how dangerous it would've been if they had gotten stuck in the moshing. i mean, you could seriously get squished! but it's all good, i think everyone came out pretty much unscathed.=)OH! ANDDDDD *drumroll again* i got matchbook romance stickers! and the lead singer autographed my silver sparkly headband. hahah. sweeeet.
almost giving up on trying.
but then again-it doesn't end.twisted taste: starburst grape lollipop
Mood music: promise- matchbook romance
*shy that way
lie to me
THE FOURTH OF DECEMBER.
YAYYYYY!!! *goes hyper*
meeting Tim later. superdooper aweeesome. anyways, yeah, so i scared myself silly from watching the haunting. i swear, i convinced myself ghosts of children were gonna spook me. hahah and i had no one to call to talk to me til i fell asleep. mich was out, trish was packing and delle was house-choring. sooo, i stayed online and yakked away with april. jolyn was missing yesterday. you were missed!=)
i asked nic what i should do since i was DYING of utter boredom. i desperately wanted to go clubbing with liz, vee and slings.BUT! i am broke. hahha. so i got my sis to get my mom to call me and i gossipped with her. BAAAH.I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME. so anyways, nic said i should write a blog entry describing every detail. but it would probably annoy the hell out of you guys soooo i shant!
i don't appreciate the gloomyness of melbourne right now. i mean, enough with the rain and gloom already! like. in three words. GET OVER IT. doubt it'd listen to me so haha, forget it! but still, i'd much rather want some sunshine right about NOW. since sunny days means i get to DRESS UP and not walk around looking like an idiot in jeans and a tee. no offense but i don't like jeans and tees kinda combos. it spells boring for me. it's just ME.. not you. hahahah. ohlordy. i've lost my ming. i'm typing gibberishhh. well i COULD decide what i'm going to wear for valedictory. but do i REALLY WANT TO? i could pack-everyone's getting started. but! it's so...dratty.
do you reckon people actually read blogs? like sit down and READ EVERY MINUTE DETAIL IN YOUR SUPER LONG POST? hahah. i don't. HONESTLY. hahah. my eyes stray. ok-that sounded WRONG. but you get my drift=)
you'll be fine without me right? =)
twisted taste: nothing
Mood music: your stories, my alibis-matchbook romance
*shy that way
Saturday, December 03, 2005
i miss you
if it aint coming out
we're not going anywhere
so why can't i just tell you that i care.
these words keep slipping away.
like i've got nothing to say.
clara's here now. delle's coming over later. love my girls! heheh.=)
dreary saturday. rainy. i love rainy days. rainy days...
okay, snap out of it.
i feel like going everywhere right now. actually, i'm pretty confused. i mean, i do feel like being somewhere. anywhere. but there's nowhere i want to go to. not now at least. not til tomorrow. yes-tomorrow will be a a better day. =)it always is. it holds the promise of something new.
it's a funny thing-WORDS. you know how words are supposed to work to your advantage and make sense? it's funny how they STOP you from sayng stuff. i mean. okay-presentation right. you have to say exactly how awesome your product is to your client but all you can do is FEEL how great it'll be, the impact, but you can't SAY it. it's a FEELING that you can't SAY. it's like, so the best you can do i guess, is to describe it to your client. gah. i'm not making sense am i?
i'm frustrated. my heart's beating reeeaalllyy quickly. my mind's sorta messy. messy-tangled-twisted. TWISTED. MESSY. TANGLED.
twisted taste: lipgloss.
Mood music: i'd do anything-simple plan
*shy that way
Friday, December 02, 2005
any day it'll all be over.
then again, it doesnt end.it's OVER! for now anyways.hahaha, NO MORE BOOKS FOR 2 MONTHS.lemme hear you scream! hehehe. i went on a SPREE today. shopping!!!!=) i'm so happy that i'm going home soon. i miss home so much, the people, the funny family dinners, the NICE SWANKY restaurants, the fruits after dinner, the 'dont sleep too late's, the mother, father and sister. =)
i'm still missing JOSH!=( i hope everything went good.=). i'm waiting for see you all hot and awesome.hehehe. sounds wronnggg but you know YOU ROCCK BABE!=)
i know trish, mich and delle havent even LEFT yet.but i miss them already. the girls. the three very important people that get me through the panic attacks, the crying, the laughter, the sanwiches at lunch, the RICE PAPER ROLLS, the hugs, the smiles... the love. i love you guys so much.=) it'll just be different. and you guys know you will always always always have a HUGE place in my heart.
you'll be with me. when we go our seperate ways.twisted taste: bubble tea!
Mood music: heavily broken-the veronicas
*shy that way
Thursday, December 01, 2005
next to me
you, you ran away
afraid i'd be everything.
ps:thanks fishieee for the meringue and totally welcome visit!=)
twisted taste: bak chor mee
Mood music: rumours-waking ashland
*shy that way
leave me alone
leave me alone,
get out of my face.
guess you know i'm better off on my own.
this isn't gonna work
im getting tired of you making a sound
coz you wanna.
i'll face the unknown
think about all the ways that i've grown.You stole my heart before i could say no.
twisted taste: nothing
Mood music: you wish-lalaine
*shy that way
